That feeling.

Ever felt like running away? Just being covert, packing a bag, getting in to a cab and taking off? Not knowing where, but wanting to give in to that feeling of escaping everything, the mundane realities, the insane stress, the life sucking problems, the fake well wishers, the selfish do-gooders and most of all the people you love, and who truly love you. Not caring about anything, anyone, not even yourself, just stopping your thoughts, pausing your feelings, and walking off from everything. No notes, no phone calls, nothing. You'd have a chance to start somewhere afresh. No one knows you, so you can be anyone. No one knows your past, so no one is going to judge you. No one loves you, so there will be no expectations, no feeling of being suffocated, of being pushed in to becoming someone you are clearly not, and don't want to be either. No restrictions, your life in your hands, and finally, you'd truly have the chance to make something of it by yourself, without any interference. Once in a while you can send postcards to the people you love, so they'll know that you are alive and well. How wonderful would that be? If only it were so easy.

They make it seem so easy in the movies. People just pack their bags and take off without a backward glance. A few tears rolling down their face, flashback memories from the past, and bam! They are in a plane, off to a new life where they go on to change their destiny and become billionaires, find true love etc. Oh how very dramatic! As if saying good bye was that easy. As if 23 years of memories would just disappear, the bad ones, sad ones and happy ones. As if you can ever forget everything, stop worrying about the people you love, only care about yourself and just move on. Live like a hippie, or climb the corporate ladder, visit remote scenic destinations or become a Buddhist disciple and live an austere life, go sky diving or skinny dipping, go to the Himalayas and scream your lungs out or go to the Antarctic and live under the aurora borealis. Yeah how wonderful, and how very unrealistic. No it's not that easy. If it was you'd be doing it. I'd be doing it, instead of writing about it and trying to suppress this feeling of wanting to run away, in to the wild, in to the unknown. Lets face it, we are too scared. We hate change and like to be grounded. We want everything handed to us on a plate. We know everything is not like in the movies, life isn't hunky dory. After we get on a plane there would be a whole new life to plan for, a whole new setting to worry about, and maybe worse hardships will follow. We do not like this uncertainty, and we are scared of failing again, and this time with no loved ones to support us, no friends who have our backs. So no, running away is not for us. Good bye is never easy.