Time for a change?

2010 has been the year of scams for India. From the IPL scam to the LIC housing finance loan bribery scam, just when we thought that India has seen it all,and possibly can not take any more, we are again affronted with a new scam namely the PDS food scam of bihar.India is no stranger to scams, be it the Bofors scam,Satyam scam, the Harshad Mehta-Ketan Parekh stock market scam or the Telgi scam. But never has our country been riddled with so many major scams alone in a single year as has been the case of 2010.The collective figures of the scams in 2010 alone are well beyond Rs 2,00,000 crore – a 13-digit figure. And this is not counting the recent PDS scam of Uttar Pradesh, whose value is yet to be properly evaluated by the authorities but is estimated to be 200,000 plus crores alone! Below is a list of the scams that hit our country in 2010 and their estimated values:

2G Spectrum scam - Rs 1,76L crore

CWG scam - Rs 8,000 crore

IPL scam - Rs 1,200-1,500 crore

LIC Housing Finance (LICHF) scam - Rs 1,000 crore

Adarsh society scam - Rs 1000 crore

PDS (wheat and other food grain) scam - Rs 200,000-plus crore

Though mind you all, these figures are just an estimated value and how many more zeroes the ongoing probes will add to these approximate values is yet to be seen.

This makes us wonder what the government is doing while all this is going on right? Well let me tell you, they are doing NOTHING! Yeah well nothing of use anyways. In fact many major politicians are being held accountable for these very scams. 

A. Raja, the cabinet minister for communications and information technology, is the criminal mastermind behind the 2G spectrum scam. Criminal I say, though he still holds his cabinet post and proudly gives speeches on the idiot box as though he's a freedom fighter. Lobbyist Nira Radia proved just how her kind of species can use their reach and position to influence events and public opinions and even decide who can or cannot become a cabinet minister. Then there's Suresh Kalmadi,the 'Sports Mafia' of India, who while organizing the 2010 CWG became richer while the country had to face verbal blasts from the world all over for the sham that was the CWG. Lalit Modi, the 'Big Boss' of IPL, the businessman who made Indian 20-20 legendary (not all in the right sense), is now himself legendarily known for the scam that rocked the Indian sports scene (I say sports since cricket very much accounts for what passes as sports in our country). Not just Lalit Modi but many political bigwigs and well known Bollywood actors are also caught up in this huge money laundering scam which is a shameful excuse in the name of entertainment. We have to wonder whether Sharad Pawar deserves a clean chit for his inaction in exposing this scam (whether deliberate or unintentional is yet to be known).The very recent LIC housing finance scam saw top brass executives like LIC Housing Finance chief executive Ramachandran Nair, Life Insurance Corporation secretary for investments Naresh K Chopta, Bank of India general manager RN Tayal, and Central Bank of India director Maninder Singh Johar being arrested for this multi-crore fake housing loans scam, the likes of which haven't been seen since the Unit Trust of India corruption scandal a decade ago and the 1992 securities scam. And how can we forget the Adarsh Society scam, where political bigwigs like Maharashtra CM Ashok Chavan duped our nation's war widows out of their rightfully deserved homes. Chief Minister Ashok Chavan's kith and kin aren't the only beneficiaries of this scandal though. Three former CMs — Vilasrao Deshmukh, Sushilkumar Shinde and Narayan Rane — all of whom have been, ironically enough, potential contenders for Chavan’s post also stand accused of owning flats under ‘benami’ names in Adarsh. Though Chavan had to give up his post as the CM (hardly any kind of justice in it I feel), the myriad others who partook in this political sham are still being probed by the various 'government agencies' and will undoubtedly remain scot free. And now the most recent PDS (public distribution system) food scam of Uttar Pradesh, where food grains meant for those under the below poverty line were snatched from their mouth and sold off to the open markets and even to the neighbouring countries, is possibly the biggest and the most shameful scam to ever hit India. Even though the scam was exposed recently it actually took place during the period of 2003-2007 under the Mulayam Singh regime. Apparently the Allahabad High Court has observed that a scam of such proportions could not have occurred without support from top officials and politicians. Well that's news! If you notice the major parties involved in all these scams have been cabinet ministers and brass officials of the ruling government party. Well FYI, while all this is going on, the opposition party isn't so far behind. Karnataka CM BS Yeddyurappa is in deep trouble over the alleged land scam involving him and his family. Yeddyurappa is accused of granting prime land in and around Bangalore to his sons and sons in law at throw away prices. And yet we see him still holding his post as the CM and crying his innocence for the world to see. The CBI on the other hand, being directly controlled by the government can hardly be trusted to 'actually' probe all these scams and put the culprits behind bars. I wonder whether that isn't a scam in itself?

How can these people even think of participating in such scams? Is the greed of money so great that they are able to smother their conscience enough to steal from the poorest of poor? To steal from the wives of those brave soldiers who gave their lives to protect us? Really, do they even have a conscience at all, or are they some new breed of mutant beings who don't even have an iota of humanity left in them? And all in the name of money. But these criminals shamelessly disguised as the government cant escape the increasing dissatisfaction and the urgency for unfulfilled justice among the common people for long. It would do them good to remember that it is we who made them and we who can destroy them just as easily.

So now since neither the ruling nor the opposition parties of the government are innocent, what do we do? Whom do we use our precious votes on? All these political scandals are enough to discourage any sane human being from voting. But then that's accepting defeat and we'd be accomplices in these criminal activities if we just give up. So while these political parties steal, scandalize and play the blame game, its left to us common citizens to wield our power over them and right the wrong. And how we can do that is a subject we direly need to think upon. Nothing is impossible, all we need to do is think and act. And if the ultimate solution is a new form of government, then so be it!

Ganapati Bappa , Chinese & the nostalgia

The GSB ganeshotsav mandal.

So the Ganapati fever is back again!! Year and year we chant "Ganapati bappa morya, pudhchya varshi lavkar ya" & the elephant headed god never disappoints us & graces us with his presence every single year.Every year 1000's of Ganesh pandals are set up bringing together people from all parts of the country.

The earliest memory I have ever had of Ganesh chaturti is going out with my family-dad,mom,gran & bro-to the GSB seva mandal,which is our caste Ganapti pandal. I remember I used to look out for this time of the year very eagerly, though not for the love of god, rather more for the fun I used to have with my brother and cousins at the mandal (yeah what did you expect? I was a kid :p). Mom used to dress me up in all my finery, ghagra choli, flowers & the likes, which since I had no fashion sense at the time (& don't even get me started on my moms fashion sense) was really terrible. It still pains me when I remember those childhood fashion deprived years. We used to set out early in the morning, hire a cab & after a 2 hour journey (which I used to spend sleeping on my moms lap or hitting and pinching my brother), reach the pandal. The moment we would set foot out of the cab, I'd start eating my mom's brains out asking about my cousins whereabouts (I really pity her, its not like she had an inbuilt GPS system just to answer my questions :p). Then would start our big family marathon to deposit our footwear at the pay & deposit stalls ( I always used to enjoy this since I got a chance to jostle my bro and pin it on the crowd surrounding us & cry to mummy if he did anything about it :p). Since we were konkani we used to get first preference during entrance without having to stand in line. That always made me feel important like my dad was some rich political honcho or something (the imaginations of a kid, tch tch). Then would start the impossible task of locating our extended family. After half an hour of frantic searching & another of frantic calling we would finally locate them. But no the search wouldn't end there, that was only half the job. The main problem was locating good seats. Mom & dad being mom and dad ( that is old people) always wanted to sit in the front while we being kids wanted to sit in the back that is nearer to the food stalls. The food stalls held the most appeal to me. The smell of the hot bhajias, the Chinese noodles n soups, the batata vadas, popcorn would make my stomach churn with hunger. I was more interested in these food stuffs than eating the prasad lunch (which was always served too late for me to hold on to my hunger,and this by the way was the very excuse I always gave my mom). And luckily I had my partner in crime, my brother who was three times my size & so worse than I was :p It also helped a lot when my cousins and me would start banging our feet & throw a fit when our parents refused to give in to our demands. So in the end they didn't have any other option then to relent to our demands or face public humiliation (courtesy us :D). Then would come the praying to god part. In my innocent childish mind I held god as a distant mighty figure, whom my mother always used to tell me to pray lest bad things started happening to me. That reason in itself was enough to get me to pray to god. None other required. Not like now when I have at least 10 favors to ask from god, from good marks & my desired phone to my crush giving me the light of the day, or a good future husband (kidding...really!) & ending with a better life for everyone as an afterthought, lest god think that am selfish or something. After the praying would come the prasad lunch and my moms frantic efforts of getting me to eat. It probably never crossed her mind( or maybe it did) that my eating all the bhajias had  a huge hand in my hardly eating the prasad. But then I hardly cared since mom would always eat the leftovers, saying we should never waste food as god doesn't like it & I always got off with a mild reprimand. This was followed by the bidding of teary goodbyes (among the elders) & hurried punches (among us, lest our parents caught us actually doing it). Then the 2 hour cab ride back home with me again sleeping on my moms lap. Those were the wonder days!

As years went by things changed, our rituals changed. Fewer & fewer attendees followed by change of timings and priorities. I still go to the pandal with my family but without my bro, who never gets an off from work and whom I miss terribly, especially on such occasions as am left without my partner in crime. I still sleep in the cab sometimes but am left with no one to pinch or irritate, & left to my own devices I find refuge in my phone's e-reader as usual. Eating in the stalls isn't fun anymore, not without my brother & the degraded quality of food, which was never really high class in the first place, doesn't help either. Plus nowadays I am so used to eating out with my friends that the bout of independence I used to feel when I & my brother would go to buy in the stalls with the meager amount of money that dad used to give us, doesn't hold the same charm to me anymore. I still pray to god, but now my prayers are leaded with fear and awe and the realization that this is the almighty being who holds a key to my future. There's not a pint of the old childish innocence left. I have a 100 favors to ask and a thousand thoughts in my mind to distract me. From damn my odhni is slipping, to oh that guy there is really cute and when is this thing going to end so I can get back to my books, the thoughts never end. The favors are likewise from god please clear me with first class,I'll definitely study hard next time, I'll even give up non veg food for 3 months and I know I haven't been a good kid, but just this once make mom to agree with me & what not, you get the gist. Like I said, with maturity, priorities & thought processes change. We start caring more about what the people around us are thinking & we start enjoying lesser and lesser. Our demands to god increase and so does the devotion. With all that's been said and written here by me, I really still do like going to Ganapati with my family but lesser and lesser so and I know and fear that one day its going to stop all-together. Its inevitable. Its either going to be my work or something else equally important and fickle at the same time. I just wish some things would never change. Life would be so much more better, wouldn't it? Wishful thinking...sigh...

Food for thought : Why we do what we do

Girls always know when a guy likes her.We have an antenna for it.Don't ask me how,we just sort of know,& its not exactly difficult to figure it out especially when a guy stares at you or gives you furtive glances or is extra nice & helpful to you even when you hardly know them. On the other hand guys in this case most of the times misinterpret us gals.

For example: I was once accused by a guy of checking him out,when actually i was checking whether the idiot was still staring at me & in my mind i was thinking of ways to escape from there. Being wrongly accused just turned me off more,got me pissed & made me rude. In short didn't serve the guy any purpose. And yeah he did ask me out & of course I rejected him.

Confidence over oneself is one thing, & overconfidence is an another matter. We like guys who are confident about themselves, it makes us believe that he can overcome any problem & take care of us,but overconfidence totally turns us off . It just tells us that the overconfident idiot is just an insecure wannabe showing off & lying by his teeth. We in turn do the only thing we can do to or know to do, that is, either ignore him totally or tell him upfront that we are not interested. Sometimes when that doesn't help & the guy is still coming off strongly on to us, we create lies to protect ourselves. These are usually that 'we are already in a relationship',or 'have just got off a relationship & so are taking a break from the dating circuit', or 'that we already like someone else & there's no way in hell that we can even think of dating someone else except that person'. My personal favorite is the "am in a relationship" one. Nothing like that one to get guys off your back :p. But some guys are still persistent & not ready to take no for an answer.That is when I go for the kill,& make a friend of mine pretend to be my boyfriend & threaten the guy. Pretty smart huh?:p. I always have a friend on hold for such emergencies.

In a college with minority of gals,those of us who are even a bit pretty, face a real dilemma. Its really not fun to have guys stalking you, hitting on you & asking you out even when they don't know you, all the time. It might look good in movies, or maybe some gals like it, but for those of us who haven't been in the limelight much,its a real harassment. After all this when we reject guys, we are labeled as rude, having attitude & what not. All bullshit. If I'd start agreeing to go with everyone who asks me or shows interest in me, all my weekends would be pretty occupied.And am not even bragging. Its just the truth. Instead I prefer hanging out with friends on weekends or staying at home & enjoying a novel. That's just who I am. Doesn't mean I don't date,I do,but only if I really like someone.I never have liked casual dating. I'd rather be with friends instead.

Gals in general have a specific idea about whom they want to date.We don't agree to go out with just about anyone who asks us or at least most of us don't. I know thats not fair, you probably must be thinking, what if the guy is actually great & you are making a mistake? Well we think its better to be safe then sorry later. Also would you like it if we agree to go on a date with you even though we don't want to,but then at the date we clam up, hardly talk & get out of the date with a bad,bored feeling? waste of time isn't it? That's why I never agree for blind dates.
Just like guys we don't like getting hurt either. We are emotionally fragile. It takes me months to get over a broken relationship of any sorts. No wonder that I am extra cautious about whom I want to date. I am not really emotionally expressive. I have been broken too many times for that & I have learned my lessons.I build walls around me for my own emotional security. But doesn't mean I don't let anyone within them. You just have to make that effort to reach within them. If you can't I guess you were never really serious to make that effort & hold on.

"You're not alone

Together we stand

I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold

And it feels like the end

There's no place to go

You know I won't give in

No I won't give in

Keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Just stay strong

'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you

There's nothing you could say

Nothing you could do

There's no other way when it comes to the truth

So keep holding on

'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through............."

BACK!!

Yeah am back in action in the blogging world. Well I hadn't exactly left blogging, but had been too busy & lazy at the same time to write on anything. What with my one month long exams & then a vacation in which am busy with my inplant training & project work(so not much of a vacation actually), have been totally busy, tired & lethargic to feel like blogging. Plus I discovered sleeping at 11 pm & getting up at 6 am for my training isn't really feasible since am more of a night owl & less of a morning person. Too bad though since I don't actually have any solution for it unless am ok with sleeping during my training. And since am crazy about reading books, which surprisingly makes me more lethargic in a way that I read at least one book everyday on my e-reader, destroying my eyesight in the process. But the weather just demands snuggling on my sofa with a book(or in my case my phone) in my hand, so blogging has been the last thing on my mind. Ok enough of my excuses & blabber.

Basically am saying, I'll try to be regular in updating my blog. Hopefully that is. Well Happy blogging to myself! ;)

MOM...I LOVE YOU..!!! :)

Here's a few verses that I wrote & messaged my mom on mothers day..sure did make her happy! :D
Hey mom! :)
on this mothers day I just want to say I LOVE YOU....


I believe in love at first sight cos I fell in love with you the moment I opened my eyes.
No gift that I can give you, can be more precious than what you have given me-" MY LIFE "!
And you didn't leave it at just that, you made sure I am brought up right.
You made sure I didn't stray on the wrong path.
Whenever I need you, you are always there for me.
You are my friend, when i need advice.
You listen to me, when no one else does.
You believe in me, when no one else does.
You console me, when am depressed.
You are my light, in my darkest moments.
Sometimes I think I don't deserve your unconditional love.
It breaks my heart to see you sacrifice your comfort & happiness,
just to ensure that I live my life.
Am sorry that I disappoint you sometimes.
But I promise that I'll make you proud of me one day.
I'll make sure that your sacrifices don't go to waste.
Thanks for being such an understanding,sweet,caring & cool mom.
Thanks for being there in my life.
You are my life!
Love you always!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! :)

WAYS TO ANNOY SOMEONE...

I chose the following topic as an entry for a blogging competition I had in my college festival "PURPLE '10" .

The results of the competition  is as yet unknown,& am hoping to get to know it soon,but thanks to my friends help,am pretty sure i'll win it..:)

Here's the link to the original post:

http://www.bindass.com/post/ways-to-annoy-some-one/

So read on & if you like it,click on the tab "bindass" at the top left corner on the above link.

thnxx!:)

Annoying people is really easy. Seriously, am not kidding. You all must have done it at some point in your life, whether it was when you were a kid & you used to do it just for fun or when you have grown up,all matured & just want some sadistic pleasure in life. Believe me, if i can do it, anyone can. And I must say, I have a hell lot of experience in it (in other words am just saying that am pretty good at it, so its better to remain in my good books :p).

Some people just love getting under other people’s skin. It just makes their day. And in most cases, it makes other people’s day too, because, well ultimately at the end of the day everyone loves a good laugh,& especially if it’s at someone else’s expense ;) Also with the stress filled work environment nowadays, a little fun doesn't hurt.
Its easy to laugh at others, but its always better to be on the lookout, lest you might be the next person to be targeted!

As with everything in life, there are as many different ways to annoy people as there are, well, people. Any tiny, insignificant thing can turn out to be just as irritating as major annoyances.
Ever wonder if your little quirks or big pet peeves annoy everyone around you?

As you all have heard time & again "laughter is the best medecine".  I have always taken this little quote to my heart. Maybe a bit too much :p
Being the perpetrator for other people’s grievances & a victim of others in some cases, I with the help of my friends have compiled a list of a few classic ways to annoy people. 

Read on..

1)One of the most common & sureshot ways to annoy a person is just repeating whatever the person says. 100 % success rate! Downside is that the victim might be of a resilient kind & not respond at all, so you might be the one to get annoyed in the end if such a thing happens!

2)Laugh. You can do one of two things with laughter. You can laugh at EVERYTHING that comes out of someone’s mouth, or if someone thinks they are hilarious, you laugh at nothing. Example: My cat died last night.HAHAHAHAHA. It annoys that person and maybe if you’re lucky annoys them to the point of tears. Meanwhile, the wannabe clown will hate you if you totally ignore his attempts at comedy.

3)Ask lame questions when a serious discussion is going on or answer every question with a question. Example: What do I mean? You don’t know what I mean? Are you sure? Are you kidding me? Know what I mean?
Or interrupt someone talking to you and ask, “Do you hear that?” When they ask “What?” quickly say, “Never mind, it’s gone now.” See how many times you can do this in a conversation.

4)Always be late and expect your friends to wait for you. Better yet, offer to drive and then be late. That way, your friends can’t leave without you ;)

5)Stare at a person continuously & then look away suddenly when the person catches you staring at them. The person either thinks that you are checking them out, or they start wondering if there’s somethng wrong with their hair or outfit :p

6)Always “one up” everyone. If your friend has met Shahid Kapoor, then tell her about the time you met Sonia Gandhi. If your classmate wins a scholarship, mention that you’ve won five scholarships and a grant. If your sister was up all night with a bad cold, then make sure she knows you haven’t slept in three years due to a herniated septum. And throw in your bad back, too, just for good measure.

7)An age old way is to press all the buttons of the elevator before exiting. Whoever steps in the elevator next has to go through hell! Am a victim of these sometimes. Sigh, who said kids are angels?! :| :p

8)Another classic method, ring doorbells & run away. My friends still do it..they ring my doorbell & run..& I run with them ;)

9)One of the most annoying things in existence right now is chain messaging. The ones that say, “If you want to please so & so God or if you want to pass your exams or if you want to date your crush,forward this message to 10 people & you will get what you want”. yeah right! All you get is a big phone bill! such messages sure as hell irritate a lot, but the fun part is when people actually believe them! ;)

10)With the era of social networking namely facebooking, the concept of mass annoyance has come into existence. All you need to do is join as many lame groups & become a fan of as many pages as possible. For good measure answer stupid questions about people on your list you hardly know, compare them with others & send them hugs, smiles & all other useless things. In short flood their wall & notifications. This is one of the most annoying things that you can do. I should know since I am experiencing it currently, & once upon a time even led the brigade!

These were just a few most annoying ways out of thousands of others. Feel free to comment or better yet add to the list :)

P.S. Many thanks to Sahib & kawshi for helping me with the research of this topic. Couldn't have done this one without you guys!:) 

Attaining Wisdom!

How to console a friend who's just lost someone close? This question has been going on in my mind since some time now..


Ever since I developed some brains, I have had problems relating to people at an emotional level. So recently I found myself in a dilemma when my best friend lost her uncle who was a father figure in her life.
I seriously don't get the whole "consoling your friend" part. Especially when anything you say triggers tears in the said friend. As it is I hate talking on the phone, now talking to her became similar to giving an exam in which you are sure you aren't going to pass,& there's no cheating to save you. My conversations with her would be somewhat like this,
Me: Hey don't think about it too much. It's going to be okay.
To which I would get a weird silence & a sniffling sound from her end. 
And I'd say: Hey are you crying? (hoping very much that she isn't & wondering what to say next if she is).
To which I'd get a reply: manju I'll talk to you later.
& she'd cut the phone, relieving me from the responsibilty of consoling her.
I have wasted countless hours thinking upon a solution. I even called up mutual friends asking them what am supposed to do in such a case. And all of them gave the same replies. The tried and tested methods, "don't mention anything that will make her remember her uncle", "don't act too happy in front of her", "dont ask insensitive things to her" & so on and so forth. With all this in mind, talking to my friend felt like testing a mine field..one wrong move & you are gone..! 
Also, since i did develop some brains while growing up afterall, you can believe that i do have the social sense of a normal human being, even though it might seem otherwise. So all these were things that were already known to me & I was already taking care of them. What actually bothered me was how to get my friend back to normal, without making her cry atleast once during my pathetically small conversation with her. How to get a smile on that pretty face of hers? How to get her back to her normal bubbly self?


Right from childhood, when I would cry after falling down, or scraping my knees bad on crashing my cycle, or cry when i got some other injury, whether it be physical or emotional, my best friend was always there for me. She knew just what to say that would make everything feel right to me. A hug & a few soothing words & I'd stop crying, & believe me, I regret to say it  but sadly its true, I was an awful crybaby in my past(thankfully). But it had always been really easy to console me or atleast my friend knew how to do it. But its right the opposite with her. As it is, my whole childhood went in her consoling & supporting me as she was the mature & elder one & so I never got much of a chance to do the same for her. And now when I had a chance, I found out that i really sucked at such things. I kept thinking that am letting her down & that didnt help. In addition to that, fate transpired against us. She was so busy with performing the last rites that she was hardly staying at her home, & I was so busy with my college & classes stuff & coming home so late that it was impossible for me to visit her at her place. By the end I was really desperate to get even a small smile on her face, to get her resembling to something normal, & I was ready to do anything for it.


So when she called me to her place the next weekend I grabbed at the chance even though I hadn't had my bath till then (on weekends I don't bath in the mornings unless I have to go out :P & I hope she never reads this part :p). At first talking to her was a bit awkward, I still wasn't sure how sensitive she was, whether she was crying or thinking on it & so on. But thankfully I didnt have to worry or work much at consling her. I was testing dangerous waters here, but right after the first few awkward moments, everything started feeling normal. She started talking about her cousins, how they were reacting to it, & I for once surprisingly made the right sympathetic comments at exactly the right moments. From there she went on  talking normally, like the chatterbox she actually is, about what she had been upto in the past few days, how her friends were reacting to it, the insensitive albiet funny incidents & so on. We even managed to get the topic of guys in there somewhere & I even came to know about her latest crush somehow. Don't ask me how we got there, even am confused & wonderously surprised about how the conversation ended up the way it did. But whatever it was, it made me happy & relieved to see my best friend happy & finally smiling & to know that I caused it to happen in someway :) 


So ultimately consoling a friend isn't really hard, you just have to be yourself & your friend will catch on it. Though ofcourse being too happy in front of someone in mourning will be the height of insensitivity, but your friend needs a dose of normalcy, so instead of consoling them like everyone else has been doing, its wiser to just be yourself with them, its wiser to be normal. Atleast that's what I learned in the end :)

The Year 2009

Even though its end of jan now,& I know, its a bit late to write about 2009,

but then there's so much to tell, so much to share...can't even decide where to begin...

don't worry, I won't bore you all with a description of my sometimes mundane, & sometimes exciting life :p

but this blog will feel incomplete to me if I don't write something about my past year,so here goes...

so much happened last year...

I hated some part of it & loved other parts...

made some new friends & broke some close friendships...

met someone I like & others I don't like...

shared some good moments with people I love & shared some bad one's too...

had loads of  "good" days & many "bad" ones...

learned to trust my dear ones with my secrets, feelings, happiness & my problems...

& also learned not to trust anyone blindly, however nice they appear to you...

went through some rough patches...

made some tough decisions...

went through a few turning points...

made more than a few mistakes( with those decisions :p)...

but I don't regret making any of those decisions or having experienced any of those moments...

each one of them was a new experience for me,

if nothing it made me a bit wiser than I was before :)

most important of all, I found two of my best friends this year! :) 

(according to one of them its not possible to have "best friends", since its grammatically incorrect" & I told him to shut up :p)...

I learned to open myself up to them...

where I was guarded, reticent & mistrustful of people before, now i trust myself to be wise in trusting others...

academically this year wasn't too good, neither was it too bad...

personally it rocked!!...literally & figuratively!! ;)

all in all, last year was damn fun, I have some pretty good memories of it :)

I don't know anything about the future, but am sure of one thing though... 

& that is..I am NEVER going to forget the memories I have of 2009..even the bad ones..& I don't regret it! :D

in a way I am glad I lived through it in the way I did, & even though I wish something's had turned out differently..but never mind that, am still hopeful ;)

& so I am looking forward to 2010 with some hope, some fear, some new resolutions(which btw am not promising that I'll try to keep :p) & some expectations...

hope this year rocks too,& turns out better than 2009! ;)