A Silent Cry

*The following story is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to a real person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.*


The shower was on. She was sitting on the stool, with the shower in her hand & hot water running over her body. The water was like a soothing balm to all the small aches in her body. Making her feel calm and serene. A fog had formed around her. She could almost have gone to sleep. There were very few personal moments such as these where she could just relax and be happy in herself. Not caring, not worrying, not wondering about anyone else in the world but herself. No responsibilities, no thoughts about the future. Just living in the moment. But time was running out. Other more important matters were pressing on her mind. There was never a moment of peace. Her time was not her own.


She got up to finish her bath. But something felt very wrong. There was an uneasiness in her mind. She started feeling extremely hot and thirsty. Her legs turned to jelly, beyond her control. The world started spinning. A thought sprang to her mind, it must be dizziness that she was experiencing. She had never experienced it before, so she thought it would pass. She sat down for a few minutes with her head down and eyes closed. Willing herself back to normalcy. A few moments passed, she opened her eyes, the world had stopped spinning. She splashed some cold water on herself. She felt a bit better again. But there was now an urgency to finish her bath and to get out of that place. Solace was not welcome any more. She wanted to be in the refuge of company.


She got up again and turned the shower on. She tried to hurry. But the dizziness returned. This time it was worse. She felt numb. She tried to shout for help, but no words would come out. She felt suffocated. She tried to find some order in her chaos. But none would come. As a last desperate attempt at fighting against her demons she tried to sit, blindly. And finally she lost her consciousness.


A burst of pain in her nose woke her up to the world. All she could see was darkness. A touch to the nose indicated that she was bleeding. She heard people shouting. She realized it must be for her. Out of the many voices she heard her mother's voice very clearly, bringing her a sense of hope. She shouted for her mother. And slipped in to unconsciousness again.


Minutes passed. The next time she woke up, she still couldn't see anything. She felt unreal. She had no sense of time, of anything. She heard her mother again, a beckon of hope. Her mother was telling her to open the door. She had the sense of  struggling to open the door. But her memory was playing tricks with her. She did not remember getting up to open the door. But that did not matter. All that mattered was that the door was now open. The next thing she knew, her mother was helping her in to her clothes, and carrying her. She did not know where. Her eyes were open, but she could not see. Her hands were hanging limp. Her body was paralyzed. Her mother, was saying something to her, she could not hear. She felt wet. She felt ice being applied to her nose. She was shivering. Suddenly her vision returned, though she still could not speak. She was bleeding heavily through her nose and forehead. She had taken a knock to her teeth. Her lips were cut and swollen. The pain was unbearable. She could not even try to speak. She felt helpless, scared. She started crying silently. She knew that her mother was scared, but still she was determinedly calm and methodical. That gave her hope. She forgot that she was still crying. Her mother hugged her tenderly. That gave her life. In that moment she felt love and peace. Her nightmare was over.

To believe or not to believe?!

When we were kids, we had utmost and irrevocable faith in our parents. They were our role models, there was no one else better than them. And so we tried to imitate them. We wanted to be like them. Their word was the final word, iron clad. We simply couldn't and wouldn't believe in anything else. They told us to pray, we prayed. They told us to be good, we tried to be good. They told us to believe in god, we believed in god without a second thought, even though we didn't fully understand the concept of 'GOD'. We believed in every truth, story, fable, lie, order they gave us, because we didn't know any better. As we grew up, we started questioning these beliefs naturally. We started rebelling against orders, fought against lies, believed our own opinions to be true and started creating our own fables. It is but nature, how God has made us, we are not at fault. But old habits die hard, the seeds sown when young still hold their roots even if the tree has grown and wilted.We retain a part of what we were taught in the childhood. Our conscience questions our rebellious nature, a part of us still wants to meekly believe and sometimes we take the easy way out by believing instead of questioning.

My mother is a pious woman. She has unconditional devotion towards God. In her own way she tried to inculcate these very qualities in me, when I was but a kid. And since I saw her as my role model, I had utter faith in her, I believed in her, listened to her, tried to do as she told me to do. She believes in Sri Sathya Sai Baba. She told me to believe in him. She told me he's a God, and I believed her then. I believed he was a God, I prayed to him, I asked him for wishes, as children usually do. As I grew up, my belief didn't change, even though I no longer needed to blindly believe what my mother said and always agree with her. Call it my blind faith, call it superstition, call it my innocence or whatever. But I had my own reasons to believe. Of course the intensity of my belief was directly proportional to how big a mess I was in at the time (Yes, I wouldn't call myself pious in any sense).

Just recently Sri Sathya Sai Baba died at the ripe old age of 85, and as is in the case of people who are always in the limelight and who leave behind a lot of money in trusts, controversies followed. Many people started debasing him on the various social networking websites, newspapers and other media. Many videos were released showing him to be a fake, how he cheated people in his miracles etc. Other controversies started about the money he's left behind in the trust, about who will head the trust after Baba's demise and so on. All these people fail to remember that Sri Sathya Sai Baba, maybe he's not a god, but he sure did a lot of charity work for the people all around the world & not just in India. His trust supports a variety of free educational institutions, hospitals, and other charitable works in over 166 countries. Whatever money he obtained from the devotees was ultimately used in their own betterment through these very educational institutions and hospitals. He preached spiritualism, meditation, good karma, sanatana dharma (All God's are one) and purity in human values and character. He was an Indian guru, spiritual figure, philanthropist, and educator. He used the better part of his life in influencing people spiritually. He did not do any sort of harm to other people. He did not preach jihad or murder. He's no Osama Bin Laden or Dawood Ibrahim. He tried to influence people to become good human beings.

So maybe he's not a God, he definitely is a better Human being than us lot. Instead of belittling him, wouldn't it serve us better to give him credit for his good work? After all that's what humanity is all about. Remember Jesus Christ? And how he was treated when he was alive? Now they believe him to be the son of God. Maybe he is, maybe he's not. But he was a spiritual guru too, he worked for the well being of others, he preached peace, non violence and spiritualism and look how he was crucified for his teachings. History shows that we human beings cannot be trusted, we make mistakes. But we should also learn from these very mistakes instead of repeating them. Don't believe in Sri Sathya Sai Baba, don't believe in Jesus Christ, but give them credit for the good that they have done instead of blaspheming their name. They may or may not be God, but they are human beings as long as they are on earth and its up to us to follow their good teachings.

I for myself, still believe Sri Sathya Sai baba's teachings. Like I said old habits die hard. Maybe I am not that pious, I am still young, I have yet to see the world, am too attached to materialistic pleasures. But I also do believe in his teachings of spiritualism, good karma and sanatana dharma. There is only one God, pray to Ganesha, Jesus, Vishnu, Buddha or Allah. Ultimately its your faith that matters.

Book Review :

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë


My rating: 4 of 5 stars




I remember when I first started this book, I was in school, possible 12-13 years of age. It did not appeal to me then, in fact I read the first part of the book (wherein Jane is in Lowood and applies for the governess position and leaves for Thornfield) and gave up reading it altogether. The language was beyond me, the plot very slow and dragging. The only reason I had even picked it up for reading was because its a classic, and I love classics. So now here I am after 9 years, rating the same book, with a considerably high rating, reason? A friend of mine rated this book with 4 starts on good reads, which piqued my curiosity and I took it up for reading again. Have to say am relieved and quite thankful that I did!


A genius of a book, a truly epic novel, one of the best classic love stories (by my opinion). Though the character of Jane Eyre has been given too many genial qualities (except for her physiognomy), which is nigh impossible to perceive and probably the biggest fault of the story. Then again, the story would have taken different directions if Jane Eyre had been characterized with discernible faults, and I doubt that would have been agreeable to us readers. The plot does drag sometimes, and like all English novels of those times, the surroundings described are quite dreary and unappealing (unless you like dark haunted mansions, damp dreary marshes etc) which does put a damper on one's mood. But right when you'd want to give up reading and throw the book away, Bronte brings out a rather small and likable twist which makes you want to continue reading the book again. That's the redeeming quality of the book and the reason for my 4 stars.


Also am a big Jane Austen fan, and Bronte's way of telling the story quite appealed to me. The story may appear to be like a fairy tale with a happy ending, but here again Bronte proved herself different by not making the story 'just another romance novel', by ending it with some elements that are certifiably sad yet likeable. But for all its merits, the book requires patience, and read it only if you are in to classics, romance and have loads of patience stored.


PS. Please do not read it when you are in school, unless you are a genius yourself.






View all my reviews

Be a Human

Live for today,
for tomorrow is not yet known.


Dream a little,
cos' dreams make life worth living.


Make a wish,
someone might just hear you.

Believe in yourself,
believe that you are made for greatness.


Make some mistakes,
for you have yet to learn.


Learn to forgive,
become the greater person.


Inspire others,
for they might be on their last shreds of hope.


Make some friends,
you will need them in your life.


Show some kindness,
your actions do unto you.


Care for others,
cos' caring makes you human.


Make others smile,
their smiles are unspoken blessings.


Show some love,
love is all that you live for.


Be a Human,
because that's what you have been born for.

6 Important Life Lessons

Okay I copied this, but it was too good to pass on


Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”


Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.




Lesson 2
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”


Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.




Lesson 3
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”


Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.




Lesson 4
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.




Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.


Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.




Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

My experience with the Writer's Block.

  
    What is writer's block? According to Wikipedia, writer's block is a condition, primarily associated with writing as a profession, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. Well apparently it is not just limited to authors and professional writers but can affect us amateur writers too.

    I never used to believe people when they said they are going through the writers block, always thought that it was an another word for procrastination. But when I went through it myself, rest assured, I can vouch that it sure exists. Its so frustrating when you can't write anything! Never did I think that there will be a time, where I won't be able to think of anything to write! Am a compulsive writer. Writing's always been easy for me. As natural as breathing. I could always think of some or the other thing to write. Poetic verses used to come to my mind unbidden. The only thing I couldn't do was write fiction. Not because I lacked imagination, believe me I have plenty of that, but because I lacked direction. My stories would go in all directions without a definite ending, and that's the only reason you don't see me writing fiction. When I was going through this period of writer's block, I couldn't think of anything to write. Even when I did come up with something, I just couldn't follow it up. Sometimes my topics are such that I can't write it in one go, and it used to happen that while I was writing well one day, I couldn't continue it the other day. I would either forget the matter I wanted to write or I just wouldn't feel like writing it, convinced that it was not going to be interesting enough to read. I remember I once started up a poem on the battle of  Thermopylae, and finished two complete pages. So far so good. But then I just couldn't end it, and had 2 give it up altogether. Such a huge waste of time and energy.

     This disheartened me so much that I completely gave up writing for 4 months, blaming it on a lack of time and lack of creativity. Not completely untrue either, when you are doing engineering (especially from Mumbai University), all you get to write is assignments, assignments and more assignments. And with us final year students, who have grown lazier by the year, its copying, copying, and more copying. So no creativity there. And then I wonder how I got the writer's block.

    So after 4 months, what got me writing finally? The answer is: people reading my blog  and asking me why I am not writing anymore. This made me so ashamed of myself that I decided to write something, even if its not interesting, and to see to it that I follow it to the end. And what better thing to write on then my godawful experience itself? So here I am, writing about my Writer's block, with naught a care for what others think about my article, and just being happy with the fact that I finally completed writing something. It's not been easy writing this article either, even though its not some ground breaking work I am writing on, I got up at least 6 times while writing this, and almost gave up 2 times, but now am almost to the end. Like I said, its not ground breaking, nothing commendable, but its still a beginning. And hoping that there are more to follow (posts I mean, not writer's block).

    And one last advice from my experience: the best way to deal with writer's block is to confront it head on, rather than procrastinating or giving up writing completely!
So Happy writing! :)