Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Labels - Death of Individualism

It is so hard being a girl in a guy's world. You have no idea what all we have to go through. No am not going to talk about prejudices, gender biasing and feminism or worse - PMS. But what I am going to talk about is 'labeling'. Like being a girl wasn't enough, being labeled a tomboy is even worse! Why do you want to confuse us poor girls?

First and foremost, what constitutes a tomboy anyway? Who decides whether a girl is a tomboy or not? Oh so maybe some girls are adventurous, they like sports, hangout with guys, don't care about their looks, have no fashion sense, are a bit domineering, are generally manner-less, clueless about cleanliness, slightly sloppy, drink chilled beer at parties & crazy about football, so what? Whoever said a girl has to be neat, clean, pretty & decked up all the time, good at gossip, a good cook, a born fashionista, coy & shy, like everything pink, know all the cosmetic brands, a die-hard shopaholic and spend half her time & pocket money at parlors & spas getting expensive manicures and perms? Why can't a girl be a mix of both or neither? Whatever happened to individualism?

Ask any girl and am pretty sure she would say that she doesn't like being labeled a tomboy even if she wears t-shirts and jeans, doesn't do catwalk, likes playing & watching sports, wears sports shoes, sneakers & floaters instead of high (back breaking) heels, speaks her mind, doesn't know the meaning of coy and sits, walks and talks like a boy (in other people's words). The irony is guys feel the most comfortable hanging out with these very same girls and are generally best friends with them rather than with the 'stereotypical girl'. This is because they find them uncomplicated and quite like themselves. "She is easy to be friends with" is what most guys say. This is also what makes them label these girls as 'tomboys'. But when it comes to dating, the general consensus is, "oh her? well, she's more like my buddy. Rather more like myself (read guy), how can I date her?! Am sure she doesn't like guys. We are just best friends." Wow. Really wow.

And woe begone if your tomboy friend turns up dressed in a skirt, wearing makeup, with a fancy hairstyle and generally looking like..well a girl. How dare she?! Firstly, you wouldn't recognize her. When you finally do, you'd be shocked and loose your power of speech. And when you finally regain your speech & find your tongue you would start badgering her with questions like "what happened to you?! What have you done to yourself?! what is that hairstyle?! You in a skirt? Wait, is that makeup on your face? You are looking ridiculous! Go change. I can't be seen like this with you!" How nice. However, if the girl is lucky enough and the guy not blind enough, she'd be appreciated & complimented (See am not labeling you guys). But it is a rare case. Dear guys, and girls who think otherwise, a girl is a girl. Any girl, even if she generally prefers jeans over skirts, a natural look over makeup, shoes over heels, sports over gossip, and simplicity over complexity, she would still want to dress up once in a while and look pretty.

So why not let her be? Is it so hard to see her in a different light once in a while, and maybe just maybe, appreciate her and compliment her? Is it so hard to make her smile, to let her be happy, to let her be a girl without having to be confused about it? Why can't a girl retain her own unique qualities and be labeled an individual rather than say a tomboy, a blonde, dumb, pea brained etc. Am using the same terms that people generally use to stereotype, nothing new about it. Why label her and stereotype her? Why make her loose her confidence & ruin her life? Let her be. Let her be happy in her individuality. Let her be just a 'girl'.

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